So I ask. Why do we have all these Guido types with spray tans and bandannas under their redneck straw or leather hats doing the armpit sniffing pose?
Now, don't get me wrong. I have nothing against Guidos, spray tans, or fitness models. But when I have to help my wife, who writes a very specific brand of Texas cowboy, find a cover model, I want, well, a cowboy.
There's an old song by Conway Twitty, called Don't Call Him a Cowboy (Until You've Seen Him Ride). In this case don't slap a hat on a guy with no shirt on and call him a cowboy.
See, there are all sorts of cowboy hats from the low crown Texas straw Stetson, to the high crown, curly brim high mountain hat. They all have a few things in common, though. They come in felt or straw. They do not come in leather. They are not worn by celebrities like Toby Keith or Bret Michaels. They are not bought in a tourist shop at Myrtle Beach or at the Margaritaville in NOLA.
As a side note, the redneck leather hat that most closely resembles a civil war cavalry hat is what the slimy, jerk of an ex used to wear and call it a cowboy hat, and is never, ever an appropriate hat for a BA Tortuga cover. Ever. Julia would rather bash herself in the head than see it on a cover, thanks.
A real cowboy hat can be bought at a western wear store, a rodeo, and in some states, Wal-Mart. Approved manufacturers include Stetson, Resistol, Justin, Larry Mahan and many, many more.
I am begging for real cowboys to come back into style. They're hot. Trust me.